10 September 2007
Attacked By A Buck That Didn’t Even Wipe
Posted by Darrell under: Whitetail Deer .
I read a story (that Rex suggested) entitled Never Rope a Deer and found myself laughing and remembering my own close encounter with an enraged deer. My story took place when I was just barely 16, but I remember it like yesterday.
I had driven out to this spot a couple miles from camp and about a 1/4 mile from where I had built a treestand (in those days I had never even heard of a metal treestand). To get to this particular stand I had to cross a small creek. I’d take my time, remove my shoes and roll up my pants and usually arrive on the other side relatively dry.
I had been seeing a huge buck from this stand for the past several nights. But, that buck would never come into range. Range, at that time, was about 45 feet, as I was hunting with my trusty Ben Pearson recurve that I’d bought at a garage sale for $15 or $20 bucks. Anyway, I really wanted that buck and didn’t want to do anything to spook him.
On this particular night, that buck showed up right on cue (about 45 minutes before it was too dark to see). He stayed about 30 to 40 yards from my stand and just kept eating and rubbing around. I stayed frozen, not wanting to do anything to spook that big buck. After about 30 minutes, with only 15 minutes of light left, that deer actually meandered up to about 20 yards.
I was so excited! Here was my chance. Well, that buck squatted and started to go #2. If you’ve never seen a deer do this, which up until this point I hadn’t, it is a fairly strange site. He was squatted down, looking right in my direction, and he was really concentrating on what he was doing. I found myself wondering if he might be constipated.
Anyway, I couldn’t bring myself to take the shot while he was squatting like that. I decided that I would wait until he was finished before I sent my arrow for him. I just didn’t want him to lose his dignity like that.
That deer was really smart because he bolted out of there just as soon as he was finished - without even wiping! It really caught me by surprise. I guess I thought he’d hang around for a few moments and at least look at what he’d just done - but nope, he was out of there. Fortunately (or so I thought at the time) he hung up about 40 yards away. I was really mad now that he had outsmarted me so I got out my secret weapon. I had a bottle of doe in estrus in my pocket that I’d been saving for just the right occassion. This was it.
I opened that bottle (talk about stinking) and poured it all over my boots (and pretty much everywhere else). I didn’t really know how I was supposed to use the stuff so I figured that if I used the whole bottle, that buck just wouldn’t be able to resist. Boy, was I right! That deer got really excited. He started making all kinds of noise and thrashing around in the brush. He was blowing and snorting. To be honest, I was glad that I was up in that tree and he was down on the ground and that deer can’t climb trees because that deer sounded kinda mad.
He finally came in. The problem was that by the time he actually made it over to my stand, it was pitch black. And, of course, I didn’t have a flashlight. I was way too tough to need a flashlight. Not to mention that I hated having to use my hard earned money to buy batteries. So, I figured I’d just wait him out. I didn’t want to spook him, so I reckoned that sitting tight was my best option.
After about an hour that buck still hadn’t quieted down. He was right under my stand snorting and pawing and thrashing trees and blowing. It was starting to get cold and I finally decided to get that deer out of there so I could go home. I started by breaking some limbs. Surely that would get him out of there without spooking him too bad? Nope. Nothing doing. That buck just stayed put. I progressively made more and more noise until the point that I was pretty much screaming - but that buck didn’t budge. He was doing some screaming of his own.
Since I didn’t have a cell phone (don’t even know if they existed yet) and no flash light, I decided to make a run for it. At the time, I was pretty agile. I routinely jumped off the roofs of houses and barns (seriously). So, I figured I could jump right out of that tree stand and get some distance on that buck.
I hung my arrows and home-made quiver from a nail that I’d driven into the tree, got a firm hold on my recurve (holding it up and above my head) and took a leap of faith. I’d jumped from that far plenty of times. I just hadn’t ever done it in the dark or while holding a bow that I couldn’t afford to replace. I’ll admit, in retrospect, this is one of the dumber things I’ve ever done.
However, I didn’t break anything when I hit the ground. I bounced and rolled a few times, jumped up, and took off running. Now, you’d think that the big old buck would be running in the opposite direction. Not so. He was right behind me. I’m not kidding. That buck was chasing right behind me. And he wasn’t happy. He was blowing and snorting and making all kinds of noise - right behind me.
All I knew for certain is that my car was about 1/4 mile away and that I was not going to lose my virginity to a big old buck. So, I ran harder than I’ve ever ran. Now, if you’ve ever sprinted through the thick woods in the pitch black, you know it can be a precarious situation. I fell, rolled, and bounced several times. Oh, and then I found myself flying off a creek bank into some cold and unexpected water.
After dragging myself out of the creek, completely soaked through and beat up, I realized that the buck wasn’t behind me any more. In a delirious trance I trudged my way back to the car.
As I drove back towards camp, I wondered how I could ever explain this tragedy. When I got out of my car, I was glad to see that the only light was from the fire. Well, the firelight was still enough. The interrogation immediately began:
Dad: “Where is your bow?”
Me: “I lost it”
Dad “Why are you soaking wet?”
Me: “I fell into the creek”
Dad: “What is that terrible smell?”
Me: “Deer pee”
Dad: ”What is all that blood from?”
Me: “I got caught in some briars and I fell on some rocks”
Dad: “Why are your clothes all torn?”
Me: ”Briars and rocks, again”
Dad, with a touch of concern: “What in the world happened?”
Me: “Well, you remember that big buck I’ve been telling you about?”
Dad, with a tinge of excitement in his voice “yes?”
Me: “He attacked me”
You can imagine my discomfort as I watched several grown (supposedly mature adult) men roll on the ground around the fire belly laughing.
Post script: I did find my bow the next day. It was OK and I took a doe with it later that season. However, I never saw that buck again. And, it took about 10 years before I worked up the courage to buy another bottle of pee. Oh, and if a big buck tries to make a fool out of me by stopping to take a load off - I’ll probably go ahead and drill him anyway.
7 Comments so far...
Rex Says:
10 September 2007 at 9:20 am.
that’s funny! thanks for the link. should of roped him and tied him to the tree.
Kristine Shreve Says:
10 September 2007 at 10:57 am.
O.k., I just spit water on my computer screen. That is a great story!
I can just see you running full out through the woods with that big buck chasing you.
Too funny.
Bryan Says:
10 September 2007 at 7:53 pm.
I hope you took some toilet paper back to that buck…
Great story!
Darrell Says:
11 September 2007 at 4:25 pm.
Thanks for the comments guys. I’m pretty glad he didn’t catch me, too. It is interesting how something that wasn’t funny at the time can sure make you chuckle later.
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