4 July 2007
Friends, Snakes, Burning Vehicles, & the Duke Boys – A Saturday in the Ozarks
Posted by Darrell under: Missouri; Rantings Of An Outdoorsman .
I will admit that I wrestled with putting this post up. We were just having fun at the time, but in retrospect, it does appear a bit irresponsible. But in our defense, “who hasn’t dreamed of living the Dukes of Hazzard lifestyle?”
I never made it to work on my tree stands on Saturday (two weeks ago). A funeral in the middle of the day kinda threw a kink in my brush cleaning plans. After the funeral (my brother-in-law’s grandma) I went to Jeff’s house for some archery practice. He had a brush pile to burn behind his house and a ‘get together’ of sorts came together on the fly. Its amazing how many people will show up on short notice if the promise of burning something exists!
The trouble started when Jeff broke out the mosquito fogger. I’ve never used one before and was instantly captivated by huge clouds of smoke (probably toxic) that were emitted from this small hand held device. I mean, all you do is connect a portable propane tank to this little contraption (that holds a bottle of some chemical solution) and you have instant smoke – and LOTS of it! It was awesome. Just think of the trickery, foolishness, and pure havoc that this sort of machine could unleash.
If a handheld smoke machine wasn’t enough, we also found a good size black snake. What a lucky day! You can have so much fun putting a live snake in a cooler and asking people, as they start to trickle in, to throw you a beer. What good times! I love hearing guys scream like little girls. On a serious note, snakes are great to have around your home – especially non-poisonous ones like a big black snake. They eat lots of varmints you don’t want or need hanging around your house. (Fine print time:) No snake was harmed in the making of this blog post!
You can also have lots of fun by hiding behind an unsuspecting friend’s truck (especially one that just dropped a bunch of chairs off by the raging fire) with the old mosquito smoke machine, and filling the space under his truck with smoke. It doesn’t take long for a truck (or ATV) to look like its fully ablaze. The unsuspecting victim’s look (and possible screams) of abject horror are absolutely priceless. Oh what fun!
To top an evening of merriment off, though, you must pay homage to our dear friends ‘the Duke boys’ – you know the Dukes of Hazard county! Those boys really knew how to get a party started. So, out of respect for them, we decided to light our brush pile in a ‘special’ way. The duke boys always made it look so easy. They were, of course, archers extraordinaire. They could hit an outhouse with a stick of dynamite attached to the tip of their arrow from 100 yards. What marksmen.
It didn’t take me long to realize that I just didn’t have the ‘duke boys’ touch with a bow. Every time I’d draw my bow back and my friend would light the tip of my arrow (upon which I’d wrapped a fuel soaked rag), the arrow would ignite in a promising manner. However, as soon as I’d release the string, the fire would disappear in a whisp, and the extra heavy arrow would crash into the ground far short of our brush pile target. What a disappointment!
Jeff, being the genius he is, determined that my 70# bow flung an arrow so fast that it would simply snuff the fire out. We needed a little less power. He informed all present that he had the solution. Boy, were we excited. In retrospect, it pains me to know that my son, Caleb, helped him devise his plan for proving that he was not to be outdone by the Duke boys.
Jeff completely lost his genius status as we watched him fling an arrow from his hand made long bow towards the unsuspecting brush pile. I will admit that it was the first (and likely the last) broad head I’ve ever seen that was made from a plastic water bottle filled a ¼ of the way with a highly volatile liquid fuel (and of course a burning wick).
Jeff was smart enough to know that he wouldn’t be able to fling such a heavy arrow very far, so he wisely fired his explosive arrow from about 20 feet. I will admit that his shot was very accurate (how can you not be from 20 feet?) And, to his credit, the brush pile ignited in a BIG way. I’m just glad that everyone but Jeff was a good 100 feet away.
When it was all over, everyone present would be forced to admit that the Duke boys have nothing on Jeff – except maybe eyebrows?
6 Comments so far...
Kaylynne & Mandy Says:
4 July 2007 at 6:04 pm.
So it’s the Fourth of July and what are we doing?
REPEATEDLY watching this video and laughing hysterically. We’re definitely proud to live in the Ozarks, and equally proud to say we know you!
Matt Says:
5 July 2007 at 4:13 am.
Great story. Don’t feel bad about the flaming arrows. I can’t seem to jump my car over rivers the way the Dukes did it when the bridge was out (all the time in Hazzard County) either.
Kristine Shreve Says:
5 July 2007 at 7:37 am.
I have to say, don’t ever ask me to stick my hand into a cooler where a snake is hidden. I hate snakes in a big way. I also sing and know a good bit about projection and hitting the high notes. If you want to hear a scream that will shatter your ears, just put me in close proximity to a snake. Don’t like them, don’t want to be near them. Ever.
Matt Says:
6 July 2007 at 10:40 am.
Crazy crazy crazy and a bit foolish. That is what I would say about the vidoe. But thanks for sharing, you have no shame…
Hunting Sense » Blog Archive » When Bows Aren’t Used for Hunting Says:
7 July 2007 at 6:22 am.
[…] Bows Aren’t Used for Hunting July 5th, 2007 by Cliff The other day, Darrell over at Alpha Trilogy made a post about his Dukes of Hazard lifestyle in the Ozarks over the weekend. I have to admit, […]
Hillbilly Surfing - Video & Story » AlphaTrilogy.com Says:
10 July 2007 at 6:51 am.
[…] Ozarks, like I do, you get used to strangers instantly thinking you must be a hillbilly. When you shoot flaming arrows to light brush piles you realize that the strangers are probably right. Of course, shooting arrow with fireworks […]
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